2020, the laziest year of my life as an able bodied individual. I'm not counting the years I was incapacitated due to my mental and physical health and could not to much more than lie in bed and get myself to the bathroom sometimes as well as force down 1 slice of salami or a piece of cheese per day as sustenance. Good times.
Due to COVID-19, my holiday gig didn't open this year. I found myself with nothing to do and so I went looking for something. I stumbled upon what was called a "virtual marathon" via a Facebook ad. Like a real marathon, minus the people. I'm not a runner, never have been, never will be, running sucks, my knees hurt, etc etc. However, I have always been INTERESTED in them because I wanted the prize. The shiny medal at the end to hang around my neck. I even wanted to sign up for the 5 Boro Bike Tour because I wanted the medal. Unfortunately it never happened because by the time I tried to sign up, it was too expensive for me to do so- I had to be on a team and raise $900 to participate. Noooo thanks. I dropped the dream to do other things, such as work my life away. Until now. I decided I would only be out $20 something if it turned out to be a scam, as many Facebook ads seem to be. They sent the package the next day, I was surprised. There was a race bib, the medal, a hat, and energy bar. I was pretty thrilled. The one downside was now that I had the medal in hand, did I REALLY have to do anything? I have it already. I decided to go the honest route and not cheat myself or lie to others and actually do the marathon.
Days turned into weeks, and I never got around to doing it. Why? Because I'm LAZY. I hate exercise. -Back in the day when I mentioned to my co-workers I was going to pick up ice skating as a form of exercise, one of them said, "you're always looking for the easy way out". My rebuttal? "That's right". I'm not going to deny that I hate exercise. It's sweaty and tiring and hot and all around yuck. Why anyone loves to work out or be active is beyond me. Yet here I am, with this medal in hand which I have already paid for, having to make good on it. I picked a day, got out of bed, and begrudgingly did my 5k walk. It started snowing as soon as I got to the corner of my street. It was windy. It was cold. I was very upset. I had already started, so I might as well keep going. I had read the rules of this virtual marathon, and while some let you finish at your own pace, this particular company would PREFER if you did it in one go. And so, I did while complaining the entire time.
I ended up going home when I thought I made the 5k, but I had read my Strava stats wrong and mistook the speed I was walking for distance only to go home and find out I was a mile short. Infuriating, as I had to go back outside and continue my walk. In the end, I did it and I earned this medal which I really didn't NEED to as it was already in my possession. It was still a nice thing to do, I suppose. It wasn't too bad in retrospect.
I ended up doing another virtual marathon/challenge through another company. It was a Facebook advertisement, but the medal was so beautiful that I had to have it. I even roped a friend into doing it with me. We finished in about 2.5 weeks, and are both waiting for the medal in the mail, which is incredibly delayed due to USPS being.... the USPS during the holidays. This company holds the medal until the participant completes the distance, which I like a little bit more because it makes you have it in mind as you work towards it. There's still ways to cheat, which I found some guy at my ice rink had also gotten roped in through the same Facebook ad, but he "finished it already" largely by recording absolute BS numbers every day until he made the distance. Cheater. Whelp, that's why we aren't friends. This virtual challenge thing isn't too bad, all things considered. Especially if one is motivated by the shiny prize, which I sure am.
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